Science!!!

Shit Stupid People Ask Me 2/1/2012

Five By Five is back, bitches.  And now it is back with a whole new column that no one will give a shit about.  It is a random question that I have been asked recently but could not answer at the moment.  So, I thought about it, took some notes, and then wrote an answer for your entertainment.  The working title for this occasional column is Shit Stupid People Ask Me.  Don’t like it?  I don’t care.

"I have a coworker who finds a way to bring up the fact she lived through Hurricane Katrina almost every single day. There will be a conversation she's not involved in where Louisiana is briefly mentioned and she will intercede with a story about New Orleans or Katrina. Am I a jerk for being sick of hearing about it and wanting to strangle her? Or does living through something like that give her the right to talk about it all the time?"

It depends on what she had to live through. Personally, if I were someone who had to be airlifted from a rooftop during the floods and the helicopter carried me away just before the building collapsed, I would walk around with a sandwich board over my head that read "I WAS SOMEONE WHO HAD TO BE AIRLIFTED FROM A ROOFTOP DURING KATRINA AND THE HELICOPTER CARRIED ME AWAY JUST BEFORE MY BUILDING COLLAPSED." I'd Giuliani that shit until your ears bled. Shit man, I had to clean a mess up a week ago and I still won't shut the fuck up about it. 

But if this was just some random lady who fled town and then came back to a relatively functional apartment when all was said and done, then fuck her. You have to EARN your tragedy bravado. You better have had to clean up a pile of rubble and dead bodies before you go injecting Katrina into every conversation you have. "These bagels aren't very spicy! NOT LIKE THE WAY THEY MAKE 'EM DOWN IN OL' KATRINA COUNTRY HOOO WEEE LEMMETELLYABOY."

By the way, speaking of obnoxious Louisianans, I'd like to issue a stern FUCK YOU to all GEAUX TIGERS and GEAUX SAINTS cheers on the internet. Enough. I get it. You're from Louisiana and you've got your own fancy culture with jazzy funerals and crawfish heads and all that shit. There's no need to get all fucking obnoxious about it. I've had just about enough of Proud Cajun Folk. Most of you people don't even wear shoes. GO FUCK YEAUXSELF.